Turning up and seeing an ex at an event – what to do?
It’s the moment we all dread. Bumping into our ex!
With the festive season upon us and social events filling up our diaries the chances are high that if you move in the same circles you may both be at the same event.
So what do you choose to do? Would you rather stay in and avoid that moment? Or would you rather go out and run the risk?
It does depend on how your relationship ended and how amicable you still are. If you are heartbroken and unable to function when they are around you it will feel like a bigger decision to make.
The reality is that life goes on and if your ex chose to end your relationship then they are not the person you hoped they were. It’s better to find out now rather than later. Sometimes good things come to an end so better things can come together so it’s not all doom and gloom.
If you ended it and are worried that they may be unhappy to see you then its key to be sensitive to their feelings but not to allow that to prevent you from living your life.
The best thing you can do is prepare yourself. Make an effort to look good as this will boost your confidence. It’s much better to bump into them at a party when you look a million dollars rather than at the shops when you haven’t had time to brush your hair!
But what happens if I bump into them off guard? It’s always good to have a plan and to think through how you will react if you do meet them again somewhere.
A smile is a great weapon to deploy when you get a sudden shock. It is disarming as it puts the other person at ease and also makes you more relaxed. It will also buy you some time to take a deep breath and ask a question to deflect from you. If you have the strength to add in a nice comment that again will help the situation to go more smoothly.
2. Deep breath
3. “Great to see you/You look great”
4. “How are you doing?”
After all you want to leave a good impression and leave them thinking good thoughts about you. However the relationship ended you will feel better about yourself if you take the higher ground and appear friendly. It may even make them realize what they missed out on!
Don’t feel you have to stay and chat. Be comfortable to say “I have to dash as I have someone to talk to”
Remember that people will always come and go in your life. By being out and about during the festive season you are much more likely to meet new people, make new friends and create exciting opportunities for yourself.
Don’t let past relationships hold you back from having new ones. You never know what is around the corner or who you might meet under the mistletoe!
Sara Davison is an expert break-up and divorce coach, author and media commentator who has set up the UK’s first, one-to-one bespoke divorce coaching program; offering practical, strategic advice and techniques to help provide much needed support individuals navigating the process of divorce.